Hey guys! Hope you didn't want the Rescue Beauty Lounge Fan Collection, because it is
Pretty Fucking Sold Out!
Just like basically the entire nail polish community, but mostly the poor end of its financial spectrum, I completely devolved into a spitting, frothing hell-creature made out of blissful id-like instinct, lust, and rage at the sight of these colors. However, I knew I would never own them, for exactly two reasons:
1.) I need to eat this month.
2.) My body has a built-in self-destruct mechanism where it will begin to liquefy itself internally--starting with minor vestigial organs--if I even think about dropping $80 for 4 bottles of fucking nail polish. I got as far as putting three of them in my cart before I was undone by literal, physical agony.
This was before two of the four colors totally sold out on the RBL website, which means they're gone until they resurface some six months to years from now. (Aqua Lily will be back in November; IKB: 2012--along with the other two in stock, which will inevitably sell out as well--is likely to see a year or more, if ever.) Now if you want these polishes, you're going to have to descend into the greasy coke-dens of Ebay and buy them from people I have no choice but to believe are visible herpes sores on the erect penis of capitalism. These people are scalpers. Do you know why they're called scalpers? Because once they whip out a butcher's knife and hack off whichever hand of yours is holding seventy five dollars, they will proceed to hang that hand on their belt, like a war trophy. These people are serial killers who just happen to sell nail polish on ebay.
So now I am here, stewing in a swampy pit of jealousy and sweat, cursing the heavens and every shitty person who buys limited edition anythings only to turn around and carve their initials into your skin 10 years later when they break into your house while you're taking a nap. That's where this series--temporarily and unofficially titled "stuff i can buy instead of providing a living for monstrous harpy-villains on ebay with my own fucking money"--comes in. It is here to save me from myself.
