04 June 2012

stuff i can buy instead of expensive cosmetics, part 2

Hey guys! Hope you didn't want the Rescue Beauty Lounge Fan Collection, because it is 
Pretty Fucking Sold Out! 

Just like basically the entire nail polish community, but mostly the poor end of its financial spectrum, I completely devolved into a spitting, frothing hell-creature made out of blissful id-like instinct, lust, and rage at the sight of these colors. However, I knew I would never own them, for exactly two reasons:

1.) I need to eat this month.
2.) My body has a built-in self-destruct mechanism where it will begin to liquefy itself internally--starting with minor vestigial organs--if I even think about dropping $80 for 4 bottles of fucking nail polish. I got as far as putting three of them in my cart before I was undone by literal, physical agony.

This was before two of the four colors totally sold out on the RBL website, which means they're gone until they resurface some six months to years from now. (Aqua Lily will be back in November; IKB: 2012--along with the other two in stock, which will inevitably sell out as well--is likely to see a year or more, if ever.) Now if you want these polishes, you're going to have to descend into the greasy coke-dens of Ebay and buy them from people I have no choice but to believe are visible herpes sores on the erect penis of capitalism. These people are scalpers. Do you know why they're called scalpers? Because once they whip out a butcher's knife and hack off whichever hand of yours is holding seventy five dollars, they will proceed to hang that hand on their belt, like a war trophy. These people are serial killers who just happen to sell nail polish on ebay.

So now I am here, stewing in a swampy pit of jealousy and sweat, cursing the heavens and every shitty person who buys limited edition anythings only to turn around and carve their initials into your skin 10 years later when they break into your house while you're taking a nap. That's where this series--temporarily and unofficially titled "stuff i can buy instead of providing a living for monstrous harpy-villains on ebay with my own fucking money"--comes in. It is here to save me from myself.

Online sales for the week of 6/3-6/9

Do you follow Nouveau Cheap? You should.
Weekly drugstore sales for this week are right over here.

Unfortunately, there's one thing Nouveau Cheap doesn't do, and that is keep me apprised of sales happening online, or specific products that are hugely marked down. I live in the gaping, serrated butthole of Nowhere, Illinois, which means most of my shopping happens through the internet with occasional jaunts down to drugstores (WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A RITE AID FOR 150 MILES). I know some of you other poor souls exist in similar tormented hellscapes, which is why I'm doing this research! Also maybe you live in perfectly civilized areas and just like to buy stuff online. I don't know. I'm not here to judge.


Nonpareil Boutique
Take 30% off any Wet 'n' Wild Bejeweled Color Icon Nail Color - 6/3 to 6/8 (reg. $3, sale price: $2.10)

Ulta Beauty
$3.50 off any $10 purchase

Various Websites, 50% off or more:

Urban Decay

Book of Shadows IV - $29 (reg $64, 55% off)
Urbanglow Cream Highlight - $6 (reg $24, 75% off)
Holiday Nail Kit - $12 (reg. $28, 57% off)


Rise & Shine Natural Lip Stain & Lip-Enhancing Lip Gloss - $10 (reg. $21, 52% off)
Rest Assured Brightening Wand - $10 (reg. $22, 55% off)
Double Dose Berry Boost & Gloss - $10 (reg. $21, 52% off)
Vitamin Infused Lipgloss - $10 (reg. $21, 52% off)
Vitamin Infused Lipsticks - $10 (reg. $22, 55% off)
multiplEYE lash-enhancing waterproof mascara - $10, (reg. $24, 58% off)
the eraser 4-in-1 concealer - $10 (reg. $21, 52% off)
indelible wink liquid liner & shadow - $10 ($22, 55% off)

Nonpareil Boutique

$.50-$1.00 Sale
Nyx Round Lipsticks (various colors) - $1
e.l.f. Luscious Liquid Lipsticks (various colors) - $.50
e.l.f. Super Glossy Lipshine in Ruby Slippers - $.50
e.l.f. All-Over Cover Stick in Medium  - $.50
e.l.f. Hypershine Lip Gloss in Fairy - $.50

50% off
e.l.f. Mineral Lipsticks (various colors) - $3
e.l.f. Mineral Moisturizing Lip Tint SPF 8 (in cherry & berry) - $1.80


Deborah Lippmann Nail Lacquers - Almost Paradise and Footloose - $10 (reg. $32, 69% off)

Essence Colour & Go Nail Polish (minis) - $.99 (reg. price unknown)
Essence Eyeshadow Singles - $.49 select colors (reg. price unknown)
Essence Colour & Shine Singles - $.79-$2.29 (reg. price unknown)
Essence Lipstick - $1.89-$2.49 (reg. price unknown)
Essence Glossy Lipbalm - $.99 (reg. price unknown)

Cover Girl Eye Enhancers 1 Kit Shadows - $1.69-$3.29 (plus BOGO 1/2 off on $3.29 shades)
Cover Girl Natureluxe Silk Foundation - $6 (reg. $12) + BOGO 1/2 off

Ulta Salon Formula Nail Lacquer - $3 (reg. $6)
Ulta Voluptuous Volume Mascara - $5 (reg. $10)
Ulta Lash Extentions Mascara - $5 (reg. $10)
Ulta Lash Icon Mascara - $5 (reg. $10)
Ulta Eyeshadow Singles - $3 (reg. $7)
Ulta Automatic Eyeliner - $3 (reg. $8, 62% off)
Ulta Mineral Powder Foundation - $5 (reg. $14, 64% off)
Ulta Lipstick - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Eyeshadow Quad - $5 (reg. $12, 58% off)
Ulta Finishing Powder - $5 (reg. $14, 64% off)
Ulta Automatic Lip Liner - $3 (reg. $8, 62% off)
Ulta Brilliant Color Lip Gloss - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Smokey Eyes Automatic Eye Liner - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Fabulous Face Foundation Primer - $5 (reg. $12.50, 60% off)
Ulta Extreme Wear Gel Eye Liners - $4 (reg. $10, 60% off)
Ulta Amped Lashes Mascara - $5 (reg. $10)
Ulta Kohl Eye Liner Pencil - $3 (reg. $7, 57% off)
Ulta Baked Eyeshadow Singles - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Super Shiny Lip Gloss - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Extreme Wear Lip Stain Pen - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta BountiFULL Lashes Mascara - $5 (reg. $14, 64% off)
Ulta Fabulous Face Compact Foundation - $5 (reg. $12.50, 60% off)
Ulta Salon Nail Clear Topcoat - $3 (reg. $6)
Ulta Minerals Nourishing Lip Color - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Tinted Lip Balm - $3 (reg. $6)
Ulta Lip Crayon - $8 (reg. $4)
Ulta Extreme Wear Mousse Foundation - $5 (reg. $12.50, 60% off)
Ulta Gel Eyeliner Pencil - $3 (reg. $8, 62% off)
Ulta Color Instincts Foundation - $5 (reg. $12.50, 60% off)
Ulta Hydroshine Lip Gel - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Fabulous Face Natural Finish Foundation - $5 (reg. $12.50)
Ulta Fabulous Face Pressed Powder - $5 (reg. $12, 58% off)
Ulta Extreme Wear Cream Eyeshadow - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Contour Lip Liner - $3 (reg. $7)
Ulta Extended Wear Lipcolor - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Extreme Wear Whipped Eyeshadow - $4 (reg. $8)
Ulta Baked Bronzer - $5 (reg. $10)
Ulta Extreme Wear Lip Stain - $4 (reg. $8)


V.I.P. Sale Page
TANtalEYES Palette - $16 (reg. $36)
LORAC's Greatest Hits Palette CD1 - $48 (reg. $24)
Translucent Touchup Powder - $16 (reg. $32)
The Croc Palette - $18 (reg. $36)
LORAC's Greatest Hits Palette CD2 - $24 (reg. $48)
Co-Stars Lip Gloss - $10 (reg. $20)


Sephora Lacquer Nail Polish - $3 (reg $7, 57% off)
Sephora Colorful Mono Eyeshadow - $5 (reg. $12, 58% off)
Sephora Smoky Kohl Eyeliner - $5 (reg. $12, 58% off)
Sephora Prisma Chrome Eyeshadow - $5 (reg. $15, 66% off)
Sephora Highlighting Compact Powder - $5 (reg. $15, 66% off)
Sephora Perfecting Cover Foundation - $11 (reg. $22)
Tokidoki Airways Palette - $19 (reg. $42, 55% off)

(Don't see a site you like? I might not know about it! Drop me a comment to let me know and I'll add it to the weekly comb-through.)

03 June 2012

Avon sales!

I don't keep track of the Avon site (I don't own anything of theirs) so I don't know how normal this is, but they look like they're having a pretty massive sale going on along with a clinically insane number of BOGO promotions. I'm not talking like "two things are on sale for 30% off and other stuff for 5% off", I mean a sizeable chunk of listed merchandise in each category is around 30% off or more. What madness lurks in the chittering darkness at Avon??? If you use their products, now seems like it might be the time to stock up.

- 99 cent shipping for the month of June, no coupon needed.
- Avon Glow Makeup Sale - BOGO 1/2 Off (save $4.50-$5.50)
- Extralasting Lipstick 2 for $9 (save $10)
- Eye Makeup Sale - 2 for $4 (save $2-$8)
- Eye Makeup Sale - BOGO Free (save $6.50-$9.50)
- Satin Satisfaction Lip Color or Avon Lip Stain Marker, 2 for $8 (save $2-$10)
- Glazewear Lip Gloss 2 for $5 (save $7)
- Anew Rejuvenate Skin Care Sale - Buy 1, Get 1 for $5 (save $20-$35)
- Anew Clinical Skin Care Sale - Buy 1, Get 1 for $5 (save $10-$49)
- Anew Reversalist & Platinum Skin Care Sale - Buy 1, Get 1 for $12 (save $20-$52)
- 1 full size Moisture Therapy Daily Skin Defense Vitamin Hand Cream for $.99 with each purchase (save $4)
- Moisture Therapy Bonus Size Body Lotions - Buy 1, Get 1 for $.99 (save $12-$14)
- Skin So Soft Bath & Body Sale - Buy 1, Get 1 for $.99 (save $2-$14)
- Women's Fragrance Sale - BOGO Free (save $23-$24)
- Women's Fragrance Sale - 2 for $13 (save $16-$20)

And a few selected picks that interested me in the non-special-related sales:

Moisture Seduction Lip Gloss - $2.49 (reg. $7)
True Color Eyeshadow Duo - $3.49 (reg. $7)
Nailwear Pro+ Nail Enamel - $3.49 (reg. $6)
Smooth Minerals Radiant Veil - $2.99 (reg. $11)

02 June 2012

two days of "babby's first manicure"

New and interesting things learned today! Mostly that taking pictures is a lot easier when you're not busy being a total slobber-flinging idiot. I could easily find the manual for this camera online, but I'm going to pretend I can't because apparently the only way I come to any kind of understanding is if I bang rocks together for about two hours. It's an ADVENTURE.

Now, I do my nails pretty much every day. I don't do them particularly well, or interestingly, but I've been in the habit since January and I'm well beyond the point of no return. (I'M IN POLISH COUNTRY NOW. It is similar to flavor country. Retrospectively, polish country could be interpreted as Poland. Please do not make this mistake.) Since I want to pace content--and lord knows that if there's one thing I can do, it's ooze words from my pores in impressive but gross quantities--I probably won't post nails daily. But take pictures of them?

Oh hell yes. Let's do this.

01 June 2012

review - shiro cosmetics eyeshadow in "star-crossed"

This is something I'm really pumped to share, but first I need to express some WORDS, because I am a writer and words comprise about 98% of what comes out of my mouth. (The other 2%: watermelon seeds, Gene Simmons tongue, fart noises.)

I am basically blind. Bats, mole rats, and even those eyeless cave fish take turns humiliating me in public. This causes Issues in the department of eye makeup, namely that applying it blind should probably be an Olympic sport, and I deserve a medal. This is intense shit right here. Imagine: You are alone. You're sitting at your desk thinking, "I need to leave the house sometime this month." Today they are having a sale on crunch wrap supremes at Taco Bell and you've been thinking all week that you've been itching for a good medicinal colon-cleansing, so you reach for your mascara, liner, shadows, and brushes.

BUT WAIT. WHERE IS YOUR MIRROR? It's gone. Someone took your mirror. Someone broke into your house and took your mirror because they are a dick. You still have to put your makeup on, but now you are armed only with a vague idea of what an eye might look like in a biological sense and a shake to your hand reminiscent of heroin withdrawal. This is a horrifying scenario, right? This is a "go to K-Mart in your pajamas and no makeup to buy a new mirror" scenario, right?

This is my life, every day. I put on mascara, eyeshadow, and eyeliner purely by feel. As you can imagine, this means I don't really get to do any of those neat, complex multi-color looks, because the fact that I can make it look like a healthy, functional person did my makeup instead of a stroke victim is already nothing short of a miracle. Complicating it only leads to ruin.

That massive wall of text said: I still love eyeshadow! In the spirit of making up for deficiencies, I'm always on the lookout for intense, complicated colors that do all the heavy lifting for me. Recently, I found Shiro Cosmetics, a tiny indie cosmetics boutique that a.) caters to women (and dudes who wear makeup!) who love geek culture, like me, and b.) has some STUNNING EYESHADOWS. I've been slowly collecting samples over the last few months (bless the owner, if someone kept buying nothing but samples from me I would just send them dog shit in a box), and I'm basically completely enamored. Someday very soon I will do bigger swatch-posts of the samples I have, but since sunlight has been fleeting lately, I'm going to showcase the one I wore today in celebration of going out in public in something other than my jimjams.