30 May 2012

stuff i can buy instead of expensive cosmetics, part 1

I am mad cheap. And by "cheap", I mean I will literally tackle small children, the infirm, and old people out of my way in the aisles of CVS if it means I can get glorious bulk nail polishes for half off. The side effect of being this cheap is that I have an internal geiger counter tuned specifically to detect high-end walletfuckers instead of radiation, and it also causes me to gracefully vomit fountains of acidic blood. This is normal. I am a normal person.

Being normal, it means there is a lot of stuff I would rather spend my money on than expensive cosmetics. Let me show you some.

Mermaid's Dream by Deborah Lippman - $18
see a swatch at crystaliciousss.blogspot.com


Metallic Green by LA Colors - $1.50
see a swatch at the edge of sanity


My Saturn Broke Down - Spoiled by Wet 'n' Wild - $2.00
see a swatch at windestine.blogspot.com


Wham-O Surf Rider Slip n Slide - $5.91

36 Packs of Vanilla Pudding - $4.50

total: $13.91

Would you rather be a person who owns a Deborah Lippmann nail polish, or a person who slips around in 75 pounds of pudding in their front yard?

I know my answer.


  1. i love this post, probably more than i can even express

  2. You have just made my entire day a little brighter.

  3. I wish I could "like" this....I want pictures of said pudding fun!

  4. Will I be flogged if I say I would like both? :)

  5. This post caused me to follow your blog lol

  6. haha wow, my first thought: "where the hell did i get linked from?"

    thank you, guys!

    @Sarah: shhh, no words. only pudding now.


    @Shelly: thank you!!

    @Kharizmarae: it would involve me in a bikini, and trust me, ain't NOBODY on the internet wanna see that.

    @Andrea: no! there is no corporal punishment on this blog, however there are fines and potential jail time. (but seriously, i would literally, unabashedly, stone cold kill a man to have that lippmann polish i linked--it's amazing, and there's nothing quite like it--so i think the ideal scenario would be "get that lippmann polish for free somehow, put it on, and then barrel roll down a pudding slide".)

    @MyLife101: thank you, and thanks for the follow!!

  7. LOL love this post so much!! Following

  8. Best post ever. I can't even handle all the awesomeness.

  9. Linked you on my fb page. You are seriously Awesome! Adding you to my blogroll too. People need to hear this stuff. I seriously giggled to myself every time I thought of this post today. :) Two Thumbs Up!

  10. where are you all coming from???? how do i people?????????

    you guys are the best! thank you!

  11. Haha, this post is the best ever. But you know, I don't think you're cheap ! Even though this is an amazing polish, I refuse to pay more than 10$ for a bottle of nail polish. I even try not to spend more than 5$/bottle when I can ! ( well I guess I'm cheap )

    1. haha, high-five! sisters in cheapness!

      and yeah, i've got that same $5/bottle limit, though mine is a hard stop; i try not to go over $3 and refuse to go over $5. unfortunately this locks me out of the whole indie scene and a lot of nice brands/colors, but also turns "how cheap can i get (x)" into a fun bargain-shopping game. it's pretty surprising how many really beautiful polishes can be had for under $3, and also how cheap you can get nicer polishes.

  12. This is fantastic! I as someone who is admittedly kinda cheap (also kinda broke) this really made my day!

  13. So funny and great mental image!